THE 3 «S’s»
of SOS
SOS is based on 3 key
principles – sobriety, self-help and secularity. By
sobriety we mean total abstinence from alcohol and
all mind-altering drugs. It is self-help, in that we
support our recovery through the collective wisdom
and support of fellow recoverers, and not through
the leadership of paid professionals. SOS is secular
in that we are not based on religious ideas. We
respect and welcome religious people, but religious
issues cannot be part of SOS meetings and are
considered to be a private issue, much in the way
that other support groups, such as for cancer or
trauma patients, also do not make religious beliefs
a basis for their meetings or methods.
SOS tends to take a rational, scientific view of
addiction, (though members are free to see it
otherwise) and we seek out scientific research and
medical explanations and welcome professional
efforts to help recovery. SOS members whether
secular or spiritual find such an approach helpful,
just as one might when faced with any other
illness.
SELF-EMPOWERMENT
Individual
self-empowerment is the “philosophical” foundation
of SOS. We know that the individual can achieve
successful recovery from addictions and lifelong
abstinence through self-control and independence.
SOS fosters self-reliance and the development of a
personal, internal locus of power developed largely
through rational, cognitive methods. The SOS group
and members share experiences, successes, failures
and ideas, which supply the recovery tools and a
strong supportive atmosphere to allow the individual
to find their most suitable path to sobriety.
The SOS “SPIRIT” & TRADITIONS
The “spirit” of SOS
might be summarized as one of empathy, solidarity,
tolerance, openness, honesty and trust. Just as our
focus is on creating an internal locus of control
for the individual, so our organization must be
based on voluntary self-discipline and cooperation.
SOS, therefore, lacks stringent controls,
inspectors, sponsors or hidden hierarchies. Just as
the recovering person needs to be open and honest
with her or himself, so must the organization be
free of cliques, secret plans, schemes or hidden
agendas. For the individual, dishonesty and
concealment make for unhealthy recovery and can
similarly create an unhealthy organization. There is
ample room and suppleness in SOS for members to form
and experiment with different structures, formats
and ideas without the need for the artificial
fabrication of cliques or empire building.
"COMFORTABLE SOBRIETY" - COMFORTABLE GROUPS
Our aim is to achieve
a “comfortable sobriety” and flowing from this a
“comfortable” organization for safe secular
recovery. By “comfortable sobriety” we do not mean
complacency or lack of vigilance toward relapse, but
a level of recovery where the desire to drink or
use, or the need to constantly combat urges and
cravings disappears. Life without drink or drugs,
then becomes a more "comfortable sobriety", more
akin to the lifestyle of a non-alcoholic person who
is abstinent out of personal choice. Likewise, the
character of SOS meetings also needs to be
"comfortable" in the sense of being vigilant about
the threat of relapse, but at the same time,
avoiding the sort of "tut-tut", finger-wagging,
judgmental tone found in some recovery groups, which
suffocates free expression and healthy discussion
and makes the meeting experience often tense edgy
and unpleasant. We don't patronize members. We
treat each other as adults in charge of our own
fate. We give feedback, cross talk, share
experiences and then members take or discard what
they feel is valuable for them.
The internal
atmosphere is one of serious, positive, friendly
discussion, cross talk and debate. We enjoy healthy
differences of opinion and the right to follow
different paths, within the boundaries of
abstinence. We consider it up to the individual to
choose for themselves what they agree or disagree
with, and what suits them best in maintaining
sobriety. This is another reason, why we do not have
sponsors, such as the 12 Step programs, or employ
professional services in meetings (though members
are quite free to take private medical and
therapeutic counseling and are advised to do so for
detoxification and mental health problems). At the
same time, however, we do maintain a very friendly
and close relationship with the professional
recovery sector, whose work and comments are always
welcome.
For finances, all
local SOS groups are entirely self-financing through
the voluntary contributions of members. SOS does
have a close historical connection to the Humanist
organization, which helped to get SOS started and
publicized. Jim Christopher (the SOS Founder) works
for the Humanists and it continues to help fund our
International Clearing House in Los Angeles.
However, in practice the Humanists have no
“political” control over the ideas, practices and
methods of SOS groups and have never attempted to
interfere with SOS, which functions as a loose
association of autonomous groups around the
world.
INDIVIDUAL PARTICIPATION
At the beginning of
sobriety people need as many meetings and supportive
contacts as possible. SOS members mostly meet weekly
and share telephone and email information and also
get together informally. Where there are not enough
local SOS meetings, newly sober members often also
visit AA or other 12 Step meetings. Another very
good secular alternative for women is “Women for
Sobriety”. Indeed, being very active in self-help
groups in early sobriety is crucial to avoiding
relapse. Furthermore, as an “activist”, with
responsibilities, structure and schedules, one also
begins to learn and practice important skills for
dealing with social and work situations outside of
the supportive group. The newly sober person begins
to test her or himself, grows in self-confidence and
knows again what it is to live with a sense of
purpose beyond the next drink or fix. Consequently,
and as seems appropriate, new members in SOS are
encouraged to volunteer for responsibilities and
tasks they feel capable of carrying out and can be
helped with.
However, a unique
feature of SOS is that after 2,3 or 5 years many
members feel confident and sufficiently
self-empowered to reduce the amount of SOS activity
and the frequency of their attendance at meetings.
Many stop coming to group all together for years,
without feeling their sobriety to be threatened. SOS
has no problem with this and has seen so many
members succeed in "internalizing" their sobriety
that we do not adopt the attitude that "you will be
coming to meetings each week for the rest of your
lives", lest you will relapse, die or transmute into
some putrid, green gargoyle.
SOS welcomes people
being as active as they feel appropriate to
themselves at different times. There are many
long-term SOS members who play a very full and
absolutely invaluable role in helping newer members.
But, at a the same time, we do not pass judgment on
anyone who plays less of a role either.
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We also try to guard
against tendencies to become obsessive about
activism, organizing, structures and constitutions.
This is because we realize that as addicts, we are
always in danger of substituting one addiction for
another and we do not wish our members to develop an
unhealthy "obsession" about SOS. Getting sober is
about getting real.
“Get Real, Get a Life!”
is part of the process of recovery and SOS is simply
a tool to help us get back to “hacking it” in the
real world.
SOS AND THE WEB
The same approach
applies to our Internet sites and on-line meetings
and activities. The Web is a wonderful instrument
for learning about addiction, discovering sobriety
tools and keeping in contact with fellow recoverers.
It is especially useful in times of crisis and where
an individual is geographically isolated.
Every SOS group should think about establishing a
local, regional or national web site to attract new
members looking for local meetings and contact
information. Ideas, approaches, tools and techniques
can then be swapped and spread through links
worldwide.
However, “web addiction” is a very real phenomenon
and SOS believes that the Web should only be seen as
one sobriety tool, among many. We should try not
allow it to become our main or only tool. Sobriety
by electronic letters or telephonic internet is no
substitute for the value of real face-to-face human
contact in recovery. Written communication is never
as comprehensive as the physical. Scientists have
proven that 93% of our communication is non-verbal,
i.e., through body language and voice tone,
expression, etc. "Skin" meetings are the only place
where we can really communicate and fully express
our true feelings, and where true feedback can be
gained by other members picking up on the messages
expressed beyond the content of the actual words
spoken. In this way our web sites and on-line
meetings are a great adjunct to SOS and recovery,
but should serve only to compliment or help
establish actual physical meetings.
INDIVIDUAL SOBRIETY BEFORE ORGANIZATIONAL FETISHISM
All SOS organization
issues flow from the 3 “Ss” ( Sobriety, Self-help
and Secularity) and the self-empowerment approach
and free thought spirit explained above.
For SOS organizational questions
are neither an obsession nor a fetish. Organization
and structures are not an abstract issue to be
debated like students of the US constitution in
university seminar rooms. We are a rational
organization, which takes a pragmatic attitude
toward recovery. We do whatever works to achieve
sobriety and we organize in whatever ways suit us to
stay that way. Consequently, the forms and
structures, which SOS takes are created and
developed purely in order to better facilitate the
successful recovery of individuals in a safe,
self-help and non-religious environment.
For
these reasons, SOS does not model itself upon, or
compare itself to, any other forms of organization,
be they religious, political or social. While we are
always open to learning from the organizational
features of other groups, we, nevertheless, strongly
affirm the unique organizational character of SOS as
a self-help, sobriety organization, with its own
distinctive forms of organization and structures. In
fact, the SOS organization is nothing more than a
sobriety tool. To be effective for the varied
requirements of its members, SOS is flexible,
versatile and adaptable. Indeed, this approach to
organization flows directly from our flexibility
toward the individual’s need to find his or her own
recovery paths, tools and methods for achieving
abstinence. Furthermore, and very importantly, we
are open to all people regardless of gender, age,
race, color, creed, beliefs or sexual orientation
and oppose any manifestation of prejudices on these
issues in our ranks
In SOS we recognize the
uniqueness of every individual and the need of each
person to have both a clear foundation for
sustaining sobriety (3 S’s) and, at the same time,
be able to enjoy an atmosphere and environment where
they feel both safe and free to experiment and
choose between different sobriety tools, in order to
find an approach, which suits them best. In his Jim
C’s book “Unhooked” SOS member Janis.G. wrote the
following
"Some people find the lack of spirituality (in SOS)
also means a lack of structure, of any clearly
laid-out program, which seems to them to be
antithetical to recovery. Yet for me and many others
it is just this amorphous nature of SOS that offers
great challenge and flexibility and personal
freedom"
Consequently, SOS is
a free-thought forum, in which different methods,
approaches, ideas and concepts are welcomed and
debated, so long as they are not part of a dogmatic
attempt by an individual to convert or brainwash
members in favor of any particular doctrine,
religious belief, political view or any other
particular set of opinions. SOS meetings are secular
in that they consider religious, political and other
matters to be private matters and not part of the
group business or discussions. In accordance with
this, the forms of organization, which the
structures of SOS will take at a local, regional,
national or international level can be different
according to the collective needs of the groups of
people involved. The SOS style of organization is
extremely flexible, adaptable and versatile, while
at the same time being firmly rooted and
uncompromising on the need for sobriety, self-help
and secularity.
THE SOS "MISSION"
SOS
has no "mission" as such and does not see itself as
a "missionary" organization.
SOS simply aims to provide a safe, secular
framework and foundation for recovery. At its
inception Jim Christopher made it quite clear that
SOS is not “THE WAY”, but “a way”. There are
other ways to get and stay sober. Within SOS a
variety of secular alternatives are available,
alongside the tried and tested SOS approaches, such
as the “Sobriety Priority” and “Closing the Gap”.
SOS is not in
competition with or opposed to other recovery
organizations. We welcome diversity and choice.
Where appropriate we organize joint activities or
invite speakers from other recovery groups, if
members wish and we feel it contributes to enriches
their recovery options. At the same time, we have no
interest in spending time criticizing, politicking
or conducting sterile polemics with other groups.
Furthermore, we are only interested in groups which,
like ourselves are firmly based on total abstinence
and do not recommend those which are not.
It is important to be
clear that SOS is not any form of social movement or
“political” cause. We are not on any “crusade” and
we do not aim to create any sort of "mass secular
social movement". Entertaining any such sect-like
delusions is harmful and deflects the organization
away from its primary focus which is helping
individuals to get and stay sober.
We do wish to build
and expand SOS, because new members and groups bring
with them more ideas and approaches which can help
other groups in different towns, states and
countries stay sober. But, at the same time, we like
to keep our feet firmly on the ground and maintain a
sense of perspective about who and what we are. The
average member is rightly just concerned about
staying sober and having a weekly meeting to attend.
Of course, should a SOS group spring up in
Ulaanbaatar or SOS suddenly spread across all the
countries of Latin American, we would be very
excited and happy. But the key for SOS still remains
the healthy recovery of the individual member and
not activities aimed at the creation of phantom
armies.
 Why
not use
the article
to start a discussion in your group?
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SELF-LEADERSHIP
& STRONG SELF-EMPOWERED
LOCAL GROUPS
SOS is an amorphous
and loose organization and proudly so! It is a
voluntary association of self-supporting, secular
and autonomous self-help groups. It can be described
as a highly decentralized democracy, held together
by the voluntary wishes of its members. SOS groups
are free to use different names and variations on
names, pursue alternative agendas and adopt a wide
variety of methods and approaches to sobriety as
their members see fit. Such autonomy for local
groups flows naturally from our emphasis on the
freedom of the individual member to seek out her or
his own road to abstinent living. Just as we
advocate self-empowerment for the individual, so we
do so for the local groups. Each group should aim to
become a self-empowered, self- reliant entity, with
its own unique features and locus of control. Groups
should aim to produce their own material, pamphlets,
fliers, publicity, education, links to recovery
facilities and other social organizations.
The International
Clearing House provides guidelines for this and
circulates the ideas, material and practices of
groups around to other meetings, so we may share
what we want. Being linked to the wider SOS
organization in these activities obviously supplies
us with recovery methods, as well as, helping us
exploit the respect and reputation SOS has in the
recovery movement internationally. Groups then often
come together for common meetings on a city wide,
regional, national and international basis to share
and learn from one another.
This helps to nurture a more creative and fertile
environment for the discovery of new methods, tools
and approaches to recovery. SOS operates bottom up,
with local groups developing, publishing and
disseminating their approaches and ideas to be
disseminated horizontally across the organization.
This highly
decentralized, autonomous, self-empowered group form
of organization makes SOS unique from all other
recovery organizations, both religious and secular.
Again it stems from our approach to the individual,
which emphasizes our confidence in the capacity of
the person to achieve his or her own recovery. We,
likewise, have the same confidence in the ability of
local groups to take care of and develop themselves,
and to seek help and guidance from other groups and
the International Clearing House, much in the same
way as an individual does when seeking guidance from
the local meeting. All SOS groups should be
self-reliant, self-organizing, self-financing and
self-directing. Just like the individual member,
local SOS groups should be independent of any
“Higher Power”, be it a spiritual thing, an
organizational structure or a leading personality.
The foundations of
secular sobriety are suggested from the
International Clearing House, but individuals and
groups are quite free to take or leave what they
wish, so long as they follow the fundamental
principles of secularity, self-help and sobriety.
The SOS International Clearing House never attempts
to enforce rigid rules and practices upon the local
organizations. As Jim C puts it in his book SOS
Sobriety - The Proven Alternative to 12 Steps "The
SOS International Clearing House does not dictate
policy to...free, autonomous, grass-roots SOS
self-help groups " The Clearing House acts purely as
a facilitating office, helping to inform and
co-ordinate the work of existing groups, giving
advice where necessary and encouraging and helping
new groups to form. SOS explicitly wishes to avoid
the creation of a strong, centralized, professional
and bureaucratic apparatus or center.
SECULAR & SECTLESS
SOS believes these
features are vitally important in helping to protect
our organization from becoming any sort of sect.
Many people leave AA and other groups to join SOS,
because they are repelled by the sect-like character
of the meetings and organization. It is precisely in
order to guard against the creation of a sect, be it
religious or secular that SOS purposely lacks rigid
structures, emphasizes self-empowerment and insists
on an atmosphere of free thought. We recognize that
newly sober people are especially vulnerable to
sects, gurus and charismatic leaders, and that the
person in early recovery has a very fragile sense of
the new sober self which can be easily replaced by
the “sect-self”, (a characteristic aim of all cults
and sects). SOS provides a forum for the recovering
person to find their own “self”. We are, therefore,
highly skeptical of people who set themselves up as
leaders, show us “the way”, or come forth bearing
gifts of organizational panaceas for sobriety.
QUOTES
In his book “Recovery
Without Religion” Jim Christopher gives this warning
to recovering people,
"Gullibility is pathetic at any stage of the
game and I've been duped on occasion like most
folks. One is especially susceptible in early
sobriety. Gurus come out of the woodwork exploiting
one's vulnerability and gullibility"
"As with the sobriety priority, healthy
skepticism and rational thinking never go on
automatic pilot........steer clear of quick-fix
artists...An aware skeptic is less apt to be duped
or enslaved"
Unfortunately, people who join sects never realize
or admit that they are doing so and refuse to see
the reality of it . This can be very dangerous. As
Jim C warns
"Avoidance of reality not only stunts an
alcoholic's emotional growth, it puts him or her in
real danger of drinking again"
SOS is a “leaderless”
organization and proudly so. In SOS there are no
leaders, because “we are all leader”- leaders in our
own sobriety and the ways we organize our lives and
support groups to achieve that.
To finish, the following are some selected quotes
from Jim Christopher’s books, which may help to
clarify some of the points above:
"SOS members tend to view SOS meetings as an
awareness tool. Most do not " play out their lives "
in daily meetings of any kind "
"SOS members prefer the experience of an
"internal locus of control"
"SOS is a supportive and informative
organization".
"SOS is not coercive or compulsive... SOS is
honest. It says what it means and means what it
says."
"SOS is an organization, which offers balance and
choice in the recovery movement "
"Tolerance can help us avoid the trap of
dogmatism. Tolerance can help preserve the dignity
of individual human belief."
"Our approach tends to foster, nurture and
rebuild self-esteem,
self-reliance, self-determination and a healthy
ego."
"The SOS mission is recovery via free,
autonomous, grass-roots,
self-help support groups "
Read a biography
of SOS Founder
Jim Christopher
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